Stephen Colbert on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
sometimes i look back at my drawings and im like
"hey maybe i can actually pass off as a serious artist"
but then i look through my files and
what type of currency do they use in outer space
Fuck.I literally just threw my phone
the worst things to ever happen to fashion:
- fake pockets
- making every single shirt see through
- seriously why does it have to be see through
- what is the fucking point i just have to wear another tank top or cami underneath it
- it literally defeats the purpose of being a shirt
- and every single shirt is see through these days this annoys me more than fake pockets and trust me that is an issue
crawling my way to the end of this semester
I don’t know which is worse: believing that I did it, or believing that you did this to me.
Well, you know…shit.
why would you pay someone for 26-51 weeks for doing nothing
you have a very, very odd definition of “doing nothing”.
Living as a woman in the USA in a nutshell:
- If you don’t have sex, you’re a prude and a bitch.
- If you have sex outside of marriage and use birth control to avoid getting pregnant, you’re a slut (whether you’ve had sex twice every day or twice in a year).
- If you have sex outside of marriage, but don’t use protection and get pregnant, you’re a slut AND you’re stupid
- If you’re single and get an abortion because you can’t afford to take time off work to push a baby the size of a melon out of your cooch, you’re a slut, stupid, AND a murderer.
- If you’re single but don’t get an abortion, but need extra governmental help to assist in raising your child you were pressured to keep because of someone else’s moral code, you’re a slut, stupid, a leech on the back of society, AND shit out of luck.
AND THE HOOOOME OF THEEEEE BRAAAAAVE
And if you’re married and have a baby, apparently raising that child is “doing nothing” and you don’t deserve to be paid maternity leave but if you don’t want to have children with your spouse or can’t have children, you “aren’t doing your duty as a wife”/”aren’t a real woman”
like nah fuck outta here.
You really can’t fucking win with some people